Judgment affects everyone in one way or another. I sorted the concept of judgment into 3 categories: Self-Judgement, Being Judged, and Judging Others. How does judgment impact you in your life?
Self-judgment
Judgment can be self-judgment where you compare yourself with others and wonder why you can’t be more like them or have what they have. This could lead to self-worth issues or a depressed state. You might be your own worst critic or a perfectionist and never feel like you are enough. You may hold these feelings inside you which builds up over time and affects your wellbeing. Or you may be vocal which impacts how others view you as no one likes a complainer who feels the world is not fair.
Being Judged
This happens daily to all of us as everyone in your life has their own opinions. You may feel judged for how you look, what you wear, where you live, what you say, or how you think. When you are hearing derogatory or negativity about you, your voice or your life, it can drag you down. You might close yourself off or fight back and neither is beneficial.
Judging Others
Whether we realize it or not, most of us do this. It is destructive as it can lead to misunderstandings, broken relationships, conflict and bullying. Stop and catch yourself when judging others and ask yourself, why? Were they less honest, responsible or ethical? Are they not as good as you are? Why are you judging them? Is it because of how you feel yourself? When you make a judgment, you are attempting to have a final say on whether someone or something is inherently good or bad. Judgments close you down instead of opening you up.
How Can You Eliminate Judgement?
First of all, learn to listen to your intuition. When you listen to your intuition, you will discover you will be less likely to judge. Listening to your intuition requires quieting your mind, asking questions and listening to what shows up or how your body responds to what you are thinking or saying. Your intuition usually has a physical component–a flutter in your stomach, a sharp pain, sweaty palms, a feeling of warmth or a chill. When my body buzzes in warmth and energy, that means it is the right thing to do. When I get a sharp pain, I may be onto something, I need to clear up. You want to learn to listen to these visceral responses in your body and learn to understand what they mean as they tell the truth. When you use your intuition to help navigate a situation, you will always benefit.
Tool for Turning Your Judgement Around
We are programmed for the negative. It has been said that 90% of what we think each day is a repeat of yesterday and most of that is negative. By taking the most common negative thoughts or words you have and turning them into what you do want is powerful. List your top 2 to 5 complaints and turn it into what you do want with gratefulness. Do this exercise utilizing your intuition as described above. I have provided two examples for you to follow.
| Complaint, Blame | What You Do Want |
| Example: My son leaves a mess everywhere | I am grateful my son picks up after himself. |
| Example: I feel judged daily. | I am blessed to have family and friends who love me for who I am. |
Once you complete this exercise, spend time each day focusing on, saying and feeling into what you do what and pay attention to how your circumstances change. The energy you project out thinking about what you do want draws more of that to you. For instance, the day I switched my thinking on my son, he cleaned and vacuumed his room out of the blue.
If you are ready to free yourself from judgment, take time to try this exercise and you might find yourself experiencing a big shift in how you are experiencing life!
