Do You Love Yourself?
It’s that time of year to celebrate love! Valentine’s Day is an annual holiday where we celebrate romantic love with those special people in our lives and show loving appreciation for our friends. It is an uplifting holiday we all look forward to.
That said, how much do you LOVE and celebrate yourself on this day? Or on any day? Think about how easy it is to love our pets, our kids, our spouse, and our friends and celebrate them and do things for them not only on Valentine’s Day but year-round. Yet many of us have difficulty celebrating and loving ourselves on this day or any other day. I have found after coaching peoples around the world that the love we give to the world is not always the same as the love we give to ourselves. How many of you give to others on a daily basis at home, at work, at play? How much time do you focus on loving yourself and your own self-care?
I Learned to Love Myself!
I didn’t realize that I wasn’t loving myself during my corporate years. I loved my job and gave a lot of myself to the job. I ran myself ragged doing all the things I thought I should do serving others, meeting expectations, achieving what I perceived as a success. I burned the candle on all ends and didn’t focus on my own self-care which is the very foundation of self-love. When my health failed due to chronic autoimmune system illnesses, I could no longer do all the things I wanted to do, I felt like I was letting everyone else down. I was my own worst critic. I judged myself. I thought I was a failure because I couldn’t do what I had always done for others. I believed my self-worth was tied to how much I achieved, how well I performed and how much I gave. I now know it’s not.
My illnesses were my wake-up call and I begin to realize that I didn’t love myself enough to care for myself first. Everyone else came first. This is when I started to learn about self-love and self-care. My life began to transform when I made conscientious decisions to build in time to love myself and to do things that filled my heart and happiness. By slowing down and focusing on self-love and self-care, I regained my health and found I had more energy to do for others. I learned to love myself and you can do the same!
What is self-love?
Real self-love is not anything you can buy or earn. Self-love is about you and slowing down enough to listen to your heart and your body as they know best. Paying attention to how you feel inside as those “feelings” are meant to guide and empower you. When you love yourself, you will find it is easier to make the right decisions that will benefit your own health and happiness.
Eight Simple Steps to Creating More Self-Love:
- Listen to Your Heart: Take time to connect with your heart through breathing, grounding, meditation, journaling and self-reflection each day. I call it your daily BEING steps. My clients and I dedicate a minimum of 10 minutes every day to this process. When you are tuned in, you will connect with your own powerful inner guidance to achieve clarity in life. Celebrate the silence as you learn to connect with your heart paying real attention to how things feel to you. You will learn to value this time.
- Trust Yourself! This is where the rubber meets the road. We often second guess ourselves. When you can quiet your mind enough to listen to your inner instincts deep within your heart, this is your truth. Learn to listen to it and trust what you feel and hear.
- Face Your Past: Most people don’t like to face their weaknesses and flaws because they don’t want to see what’s wrong with them or to accept, they have issues. But you are only human, and you will find that any insecurities or anxieties you have are most likely the results of feelings or beliefs from the past that can be healed. In fact, they want to be released if you will give them a chance. The first step in loving yourself is to heal those old beliefs by looking inside, acknowledging these feelings and then releasing them. See them, thank them for being there and then let them know you no longer need them and let them go. Then replace them with how you do want to feel.
- Forgive Yourself and Others: When you hold anger or pain inside from the past, it hurts you more than the person you are angry at. Working through your anger and finding a way to forgive yourself or others is a key part of the healing process. Self-acceptance comes first and realizing that everyone (including you) have been doing the best they know how based on their own life experiences. When you can see that and allow yourself to really forgive them, you will feel a weight life off of you.
- Accepting Where You Are Right Now: Life is a journey; it is baby step after baby step. Start by deciding you love yourself just the way you are and then you can begin to evaluate what you don’t like as well and let these issues go one at a time. Over a period of time, you will begin to see that you are in a happier place.
- Spend Time with People you Love: You want to nurture the relationships where you feel loved and appreciated. The path to unconditional love isn’t meant to be lonely. You want to experience it with people who reflect the love you see in yourself. Not everyone in your life will be in sync with you. I encourage you to spend your time with people who love you and appreciate you and decrease the amount of time you are around people who judge you or make you feel bad.
- Self-Care: Loving yourself means taking care of yourself first. When you are able to tune into your body and do things on a daily basis to take care of yourself first, you will find that you are better able to give more into the world. Self-care is learning to just BE and paying attention to what feels off in your body and taking care of it. Practicing the daily BEING Steps is a great first step. Taking time to fill your life and days with activities that make you feel happy and good are a key part of self-care. I call them Happiness-Boosting activities. What makes you happy? Do more of that today!
- Practice BEING Love: When you practice the kind of love you aspire to receive; you will get more in return. Like attracts like, and the happier you are and exude love, your will find you are shining a light that will draw other lights to you.
You are Perfect the Way You Are!
You were born perfect and are meant to be loved! When you return to self-love, you are reconnecting with your true self. There are many people who have found their way home to love and there is no reason you can’t too. There is no better time to begin than now! Have a wonderful Valentine’s week celebrating and loving yourself!
Be Happy! Be Love! Be You!
