Understanding Why You Are the Way You Are: How your history (including ancestral), life experiences, and habits get in the way of living the life you desire.
Intergenerational trauma is a big factor in many lives. There have been many studies that show the impact on families when ancestors suffered from war, trauma, abuse, etc. These studies indicate that it can cause years of generational challenges within families. It is the transmission (or sending it down to younger generations) of the oppressive or traumatic effects of a historical event. For example, a great-grandmother who was placed in a concentration camp in Germany may have learned to cope by “cutting off” her emotions. Because of this, this grandmother may interact with her family in an emotionally distant fashion. That relationship may be tumultuous to say the least. The transmission of the historical trauma may begin to negatively affect her grandchildren and her grandchildren’s children, etc., leading to generations of emotional distance, defensive behaviors around the expression of emotions, and denial. I actually helped heal a client whose grandparents were in Auschwitz and who had underlying hip and back pain as a result. We used my TLT process, and he no longer carries this pain in his body.
A habit is a redundant set of automatic, unconscious thoughts, behaviors, and emotions that are acquired through repetition. Many of your beliefs and habits started during your early years (between 0 and 7) and have become ingrained in you as a belief system. You are in a theta state (like a hypnosis state) during those years, and everything you hear, see, and experience becomes deeply ingrained in your subconscious. A habit is something that when you have done it so many times, your body now knows how to do it better than your mind. If you think about it, you wake up in the morning and begin to do what you always have done out of habit. You begin to think about your day and your problems. Those problems are memories and circuits in the brain, and each one of those memories is connected to people and things at certain times and places in their life. The subconscious part of the brain is a record of the past.
If we are not in the Now, we are often in the Past. This is why it is important to learn to start your day in the BEING State. Most of you, when you start your day, are already thinking in the past and may not even be aware of it. Each one of those ingrained memories (ancestral or in this lifetime) has an emotion tied to it, and those emotions impact your life in a big way. The moment you habitually act or recall those memories of your problems or struggles, you might feel unhappy or sad, frustrated or angry, anxious or fear, hurt or guilt or pain. How you think and how you feel creates your state of being. How you feel becomes how you think.
What all this means is your past becomes your predictable future. If you believe that your thoughts have something to do with your destiny and you can’t think greater than how you feel, or your feelings have become the means of thinking, all of that is from the past.
In our world today, we are more connected electronically but less connected emotionally. What happens when people wake up and either their past pains, feelings, or emotions kick in, or ingrained habit kicks in. Many of you are likely to grab your cell phone and check emails, texts, social media, or check the news (which is negative). You may be trying to feel connected to what’s happening, but most likely, it takes you into a sad or negative place. Then most of you go through your routine behaviors, get out of bed same side, use the bathroom, take a shower, get a cup of coffee, and head to your desk or office in the same way, and that becomes a subconscious program. You do the same things every day. Then go throughout your day, and that becomes a routine or a program within you.
That means you have lost your free will to your auto programming. When it comes time to change, the redundancy of your programming is like a cycle. Studies have shown that 95% of who you are by age 35 is ingrained within you. It is a memorized set of behaviors, emotional reactions, unconscious habits, hardwired attitudes, beliefs, and perceptions that function like a computer program. People who are positive thinkers may focus on what they do want. But that is only 5% of their conscious mind, according to scientists. Even if you say, I want to be healthy, happy, or free; your body runs on your automatic programming.
So, how do you change? You have to get beyond your hardwired programming. That is where daily practice and meditation come in. When you can change your brainwaves, slow them down (like when you were a child in a Theta state) and begin to rewire or reprogram your subconscious, you begin to change your life. There are many tools you can use in this process to begin to create the reality you want. Part of the process is clearing out the old beliefs, feelings, and emotions that keep you stuck or not moving forward, and that is a big piece of what I do when coaching or during my retreats.
The sad fact is most people wait for a crisis, trauma or disease, or diagnosis before they act. They wait for loss or just plain overwhelm and exhaustion before they address this issue. You can learn to change in a state of suffering, or you can learn to change in a place of joy and inspiration. The time is now, and you have the power to change your thoughts and change your life. When you do, you will wake up to your true potential.
I am offering a cost-effective Transformational 3-Day Retreat at the Bow Sanctuary in September to help participants Reboot, Reconnect, and Rejuvenate. At that retreat, I will be doing Rapid Results 1:1’s to clear your past and conducting daily experiential training, and teaching you tools, including my 5 Daily BEING Steps so that you can build new habits that can keep you in a calm, peaceful yet focused place each and every day. If you want to fast-track your healing and understanding, then Click on the Bow Sanctuary Retreat link below to learn more. Take advantage of the Early Bird Promo: Save $100 if you purchase by June 15th!
