When I was growing up, most moms I knew were stay-at-home moms or worked part-time. Their focus was family. They were stressed from time to time but didn’t exist in stress all the time, which is what most of us do today. Today, only 7 percent of households are what was traditional in the past, where dad goes to work while mom stays at home.
Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, part of a dual-income family, or even a single parent, you are most likely under tremendous stress between work, parenting, and life. Most parents are more overcommitted today, juggling multiple priorities and activities than ever before in history. Our kids are following our lead and are trying to keep up with all the demands, and most are struggling with overcommitting and no downtime. If they don’t learn to find balance, it can affect them for the rest of their lives. We want to be a good role model. Our bodies are not designed to live in the stress or “on” state; we need rest.
I was one of those parents, over-committed and exhausted, juggling work, kids, volunteer work, and life. The day my doctor told me I could die if I didn’t stop was my wake-up call. I stopped and learned how to live a more balanced life, and now I teach others to do the same.
I know from experience that it is very hard to say no. We want it all. We want a career, promotion, or raise and make a difference in the community or world while raising happy, healthy children. I know from experience that when we take on so much, we quickly become incapable of doing anything well. Instead of looking like a superstar or feeling successful, we carry the load and drive ourselves into exhaustion. It is hard to lead or be creative in that state.
Once I revamped my life, I realized the importance of “me” time. I have a daily practice that makes all the difference in the world. I call it my 5 Daily BEING Steps. I also got terrific at intuitively knowing what I should and shouldn’t do and became highly skilled at saying no. And I build happiness-boosting activities into every single day, including quiet time, where I just enjoy the moment and all that is around me. I also have built meditation into my daily practice, where I focus on what I do want. When I take care of myself first, I have much more energy to give to others.
There is a healthcare company from the UK called Bupa. They recently launched a campaign to find feel-good moments that led to better health. They surveyed 2,000 people to find out what brought them happiness and what made them feel bad. While 64 percent of respondents cited stress, lack of sleep, and rudeness as their biggest stressors, their moments of joy were much simpler. Having freshly laundered sheets, being in the sunshine, and enjoying time to oneself were the pleasures most often noted by respondents.
When we say yes to everyone, we miss out on experiencing the healing qualities of quiet time. Being alone gives us time to refresh our minds and bodies. When we have taken this time, we are more positive with our family, we can go to work with fresh eyes, and apply ourselves more fully to our work. You will have better results and be more pleasant to work with.
Last but not least, burnout is inevitable when you are pulled in too many directions. My philosophy is make you the priority and do what you love. Say no to things that aren’t right for you at this time in your life. Doing this will make you feel more excited, energetic, and in control of your life.
Saying no teaches you to value and guard your time so you can use it wisely. It also allows you to take time to refresh, reboot, and rejuvenate, keeping you from burning out. By saying no, you allow yourself the freedom to achieve your goals, reduce stress, and succeed in all parts of your life.
If you are ready to have balance in your life, set up a complimentary call with me to learn how.
