Nothing is more difficult than your once loving, cuddly child starting to move away from you. When your child turns 11 or 12, they start to form their own opinions and values, seek more autonomy in their lives, and want to spend less time with their parents and more time with their friends. When they withdraw, it can cause friction within the house. Have you ever heard the saying, “If mama ain’t happy, nobody is happy.” Take heed and learn how to stay in the happy zone.
What can you do to preserve that connection that you value so much and will be helpful as they move through their teenage years?
- Establish good habits and relationships with them in their formative years (0 to 10). It is the way you will have a strong bond and connection with them as they move into their tweens and teens
- If you are role-modeling the type of behavior you want to see, that helps a lot. For example, the calmer life you lead, the more patient and effective you are with your spouse and children, the more likely they will learn those skills that will be invaluable throughout their lives.
- Spend quality time with your child regularly. Engage in activities that interest them, such as playing games, reading books, or simply talking. Make them feel valued and heard.
- Talk with your child and pay close attention to what your child says. Show empathy and understanding by acknowledging their feelings and thoughts. Avoid interrupting or immediately offering solutions to their problems, as they usually need someone to listen.
- Create an environment where your child feels safe expressing their thoughts and feelings. Encourage them to share their experiences and concerns with you. Be approachable and non-judgmental.
- Establish clear boundaries and rules. Consistency is key. Ensure your child knows the limits and consequences of their actions, which can give them a sense of security.
- Practice stress-reduction techniques like mindfulness, meditation, or deep breathing exercises. Teach them what you do and include them as kids are more stressed today than ever before.
- Encourage them to follow their heart and allow them to make decisions and learn from their mistakes as this will help them on their path to independence.
- Recognize that your child is a unique individual with their own interests, dreams, and personality. Respect their choices, even if they differ from your own preferences.
- Remember that building a strong bond with your child is an ongoing process that requires effort and patience. By creating a loving and supportive environment, practicing effective communication, and maintaining your own well-being, you can lead a calmer life and foster a close relationship with your child as they continue to grow and develop.
If you are a stressed-out mom who worries too much, feels overwhelmed or frustrated, my Reboot, Reconnect, and Rejuvenate Retreat at the Bow Sanctuary on September 15-17th is the perfect retreat for you. Just three days and you can be home at night with your kids. You will learn so many valuable tools and techniques that will help you be a more loving and effective parent while strengthening your relationship with your children by respecting and celebrating their uniqueness. You will walk away feeling calm and relaxed and have all the tools to go through life in a calmer, flow state, and it is in that state you will more easily stay connected with your children.
Learn more about the retreat here.
